Relationships

Relationship dependency is often called co-dependence and can be seen as a process or behavioural addiction. Broadly speaking the loss of self so common in this addiction can be understood as the suffering individual giving up who they really are in order to become who they think another wants them to be. This painful proceddure is usually rooted in an unconcious belief in two opposite emotional poles; perfect care and abandonment. The afflicted individual may be forever running from the terror of abandonment to the enmeshed bliss of imagined perfect care. 

The co-dependent person will sacrifice their own needs in favour of another's. The secret hope being that "if I try hard enough the other person will change and begin to meet my needs and love me in the way that I think I need to be loved, they will give me the "perfect care" I so crave." 

This unconscious process may lead the individual to seek out inappropriate partners, to mount "rescue missions", and to strive to become perfect. 

In families one or more members may become particularly needy especially if addiction arises in the system or there is some other serious illness, the co-dependent member of the family will give up their own lives in order to care for the needy person. This very painful condition is often set up in early life where the person is unable to develop an adequate sense of self and finds it difficult to acknowledge their needs. The patterns of behaviour set up at this time may well unconsciously be carried into later life and adult relationships.

Fullstop will find the right setting and treatment to enable the codependent to develop a new sense of self, improved self-esteem and self-acceptance.

We run workshops on Co-depedency and Couples relationships. Contact us for further details.

 

To get help or more information please call us on:

01747 825288 or 07786 608267 or by email here

Telephone us on
01747 825288 
07786 608267
Gambling addiction butterflies
 

  

 

Picture by Samuel G winterbourn

 

"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it"

Rumi